“Taking care of myself is selfish”

Her mom was lazy, ordering people to do chores around the house, but never lifting a finger to help. She was determined to never be like her mom and overcompensated.

She sacrificed herself for the sake of others.

She became the mediator for every family conflict, but never was able to get any of her own needs met. She laid her self down on the altar of ministry serving in a youth group even when she knew it was destroying her energy and even her faith. She ran herself into the ground in order to care for her son.

Self sacrificial love is a central pillar of Christian living, but was this what God had in mind? In the end the enemy had worked a very nasty, subtle, and damaging half-truth into her mind:

Taking care of myself is selfish.

She even had biblical concepts to back up her lie.

She had to accuse those who had taught her this lie by bringing them to her Father in heaven, the one who was the Judge and would decide what payment would be required. No one intentionally did this to her, but the Judge would know what was appropriate justice. She forgave them. She also confessed believing the lie and living it out to her own detriment. She asked for forgiveness.

She rejected the lie and asked her Father for a truth.

Confused at what God was showing her, she opened her eyes and looked up at us. “Pumping gas?” she said. It was really a question, not a statement, as she didn’t see how this could possibly be a truth from God in response to this lie.

I was just as confused, but thankfully my coworker was able to see exactly what her Father was showing her through the Holy Spirit.

Her truth was,

I need gas to go.

Indeed, we, like cars, cannot do what we were created to do without refueling. It may seem selfish to take care of yourself, but it is required if you want to be able to function in what God has for you.

Months after finishing PR she told me, “I’m still amazed at how differently I look at situations in my life now. Everyone deserves that kind of peace. It’s awesome.”

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About Nathan Banker

Nathan, Michelle and their two sons are occupational ministers in the Twin Cities. They do spiritual mentoring, a form of prayer ministry call Prayer Resolution and help run a small church-like community called Immerse. They dream of changing the world, one person at a time.

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